Wednesday, January 27, 2016
You might remember that my daughter recently became engaged to her long-time boyfriend, Jake. They've set a date for the wedding - October 1st, 2016.
Let me just say that planning a wedding is a crazy, crazy thing that brings out the crazy, crazy in everyone. I should also mention that I'm not the planner. Since Kelsey and Jake are paying for their wedding on their own, they're also making all of the decisions for it. And already, Kelsey is discovering that men can have significant opinions at the most inconvenient of times. She's also discovering that her budget will limit her options. Finally, she's discovering that there are all kinds of etiquette choices and considerations to be made about every single aspect of planning a wedding.
While many brides are lucky enough to have their fathers pay for their weddings, Kelsey doesn't have that luxury. It may be a bit unconventional, but I maintain that planning and paying for their own wedding may become a pivotal moment in both of their journeys to adulthood. As such, it also means that I can only offer advice rather than take control of the event. It is their wedding, not mine. The decisions are theirs when the budget is theirs.
While I'm not taking charge of anything, I have been pleased that Kelsey has asked me for some advice in the process. She might not ultimately listen to anything I've said, but I'm honored that she respects my knowledge and opinion enough to ask. (And, yes, sometimes we fight about my information because it's not what she wanted to hear, but I think that's pretty common between mothers and daughters.) In order to help her a bit beyond just advice, I did purchase her wedding dress for her. She found a lovely, 50s style dress on Etsy and ordered it to be custom sewn. She received it a couple of weeks ago, and we are both VERY pleased with the result. While there will still need to be some alterations completed, the dress itself is exactly what she wanted.
She has a fiance. She has an engagement ring. She has a wedding date. And she has a wedding dress. Everything else is just extra, right?
I'll keep repeating that to myself every time she calls me in some kind of panic or frenzy. Every. single. time.
Everything else is just extra. Everything else is just extra. Everything else is just extra. Everything else...