Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield

Shall we keep it real today? I think we should. After all, you're prob reading this blog because you want to know what's going on in my life or to see if I might've made something crafty recently. Of course, you could just be really bored. After all, my life prob looks a lot like yours. It's not like I'm out partying with the rich and famous or anything. The short of it is this.

Last week was a tough one for me. 

In fact, when I look back at it, there were at least 7 rotten things that happened - pretty much one for every day of the week. The litany of challenges follows -

1.  My feelings were hurt a couple of times, once accidentally and once very much purposefully. I can be pretty sensitive, true, but these were very personally directed comments that cut me deeply. I try to take the high road and not be a big baby, but it's hard, Sometimes I want to lash out in return; sometimes I just want to curl up and feel sorry for myself. Unfortunately, I didn't feel like I had the right or the time or the energy to do either.

2.  My daughter's car broke down AGAIN to the tune of $400 or so to repair it. I spent 2 hours in my nightgown and leggings at her dance studio on a chilly fall night trying to help her figure it out. We still don't have a solution, but we're working on it. Oh, yeah, and her dad was zero help with it, as usual. (That frustrates me on an entirely different level, but it's prob best not to get into that here...)

3.  I didn't sleep well a couple of different nights, and you know how much that impacts your mood. When I'm upset, I don't sleep well, so it has a bit of a snowball effect. I'm upset, so I don't sleep. Then I'm grouchy because I didn't sleep and get upset very easily. It's a vicious cycle, really.

4.  My to-do list kept growing while I became paralyzed with so much to do. Laundry, yardwork, schoolwork, housework -- De'Nile (denial)  is not just a river in Egypt, ya know.

5.  I overscheduled myself to the point of exhaustion when all I really wanted to do was snuggle up in some pjs and stay home. To combat that, I've literally scheduled a few 'make no plans' days on my google calendar in the coming few months. Even if I'm out doing fun stuff, I find that I need to work at having better balance in my life. Sometimes it's okay to say no and just stay home alone. I actually need that more often than I've given it to myself in my life lately.

6.  Glaring reminders from my past kept popping up everywhere, physically and figuratively in the baggage I carry around with me. It's awkward to run into exes. I'm not good at being friends after dating ends, and seeing them in random places kept happening to me last week. I've also noticed a few triggers in my dating life lately; the thing is, even though I'm aware of them, that doesn't mean I can control my knee-jerk reaction to them. I'm trying to see this as an opportunity for personal growth.

7.  The effort to be nice and gracious and (semi) sweet was so great at times, that I thought I might just snap.  Sometimes it sucks to do the right thing and treat others with gentleness, especially when I don't feel like I'm getting the same treatment. Whether it's my job or my personal life, that's something that I continue to work to improve.

There it is, bloggerland, a glimpse at my struggles in the last week or so. In the scheme of things, I know that they aren't earth-shattering moments of hardship, but I did feel a bit like the proverbial bug for several days. I think it's important to share a glimpse at the hardships occasionally, because I know that most blogs (mine included) have a tendency to focus only on the happy. To deny the reality of a hard week seems inauthentic to me, so that's why I shared it with you here.

Perhaps the old adage really is true -> some days (weeks) you're the bug; some days (weeks) you're the windshield.

I'm ready to be the windshield this week.

In light of the windshield metaphor, here are a few pics - through the windshield - of my drive home from work Tuesday afternoon. It's a rainy, dreary day here in Kentucky, but I have corn chowder in the crockpot and plan to spend my evening cuddled up on the couch. Winning!

**This week is off to a better start; here's to hoping that this trend continues. How's your week going?


  1. I can totally relate to this kind of week! Thank you for sharing and keeping it real. Sometimes reading blogs makes me feel bad as everyone is doing something fun and happy, but we need to remember that it isn't all sunshines and roses for everyone all the time. I hope this week is better for you :-)

  2. To use another adage...when it rains, it pours. Sending Cyber Hugs.

  3. bummed that you had that kind of week. at least this week is looking up! such a great reminder to take time to take care of ourselves.