A dog's life

As I got up this early this morning to go to a dreaded professional development training, Lowderdog barely opened his eyes to observe me. Here's what I imagine he thought:

Lowder - why is the light on? My person is stumbling out of bed and saying bad words again. I didn't get up & make any messes, so I wonder why she's mad.

Me - grumble, grumble, shower, grumble

Lowder - I'm gonna open my eyes for a second...yeah, my human is standing there naked looking for clothes to wear. Why doesn't she just wear yesterday's clothes? They smell so yummy. I really wish she'd let me sleep on those clothes at least, but she won't.

Me - searching for clothes, grumble, hurry

Lowder - ooh, mom left a tissue next to the bed. Tissues are my fave. I think I'll go shred it into tiny bits for her. Yummy, yummy.

Me - Stop that, Lowder! Pick up tiny bits of tissue & put Lowder down from the bed

Lowder - mom, I was still sleeping. Hello?! Fine, I'll just go sleep in my bed. But I'm not going outside yet because the grass is still wet. Yuck!

Me - thinking to myself, who's in charge here?